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Something different starting to happen...

There are so many problems in my mind, posting things online.

I have a struggle with who it is that I am publicly in relation to who I am artistically and privately. I have come to a place where I don't like to add layers of self promotion to everything I do. Believing in it is a big enough thing, because especially when you take a larger artistic leap, you do not know at all where you are going. Picasso said, " "I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it." And John Berryman, the poet said, " You should always be trying to write a poem you are unable to write, a poem you lack the technique, the language, the courage to achieve. Otherwise you're merely imitating yourself, going nowhere, because that's always easiest."

So that is what I am in the midst of now. I have written about four songs out of William Stafford's poetry, and I have learned to play and sing these accompanying myself on guitar and banjo. I have created a vocal arrangement for "What Happens When You Get Lost". I have spoken with and gotten together with, a number of musicians who might prospectively play on the CD - a couple of singers, three banjo players, three bass players so far, three percussionists. And I have also spoken to and begun to interview three different engineers to do the recording. 

What I am learning is a lot - the singing is huge fun, the banjo playing is quite wonderful. But the recording hasn't really landed and something needs to start happening with that. I am close enough to start recording these pieces. 

And in the mean time, there is the ongoing question of making ends meet and that is not a sure thing by any means. I am at the point of deciding I will post my financial picture on the web site so that what I am doing can be more clear. There are so many issues here it is close to overwhelming. But I am getting nearer and nearer to just putting it all out there, because I am 100% serious about realizing these visions and maybe the only way that is going to happen will be if I am willing to just say it all out loud, or on the site, so everyone or anyone who is interested can make comments, suggestions, help me come up with ideas for how to get all these things done. 

Just to say this much feels like a lot, but it is a start anyway. I think the more visible and transparent all of this is, maybe the better it will get. 

This is the beginning...

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